In Real Life – Be S.(M).A.R.T.


Funny that I, of all people, should talk about measure when

  1. Most of my rhetoric is based on hyperboles; my father finds this funny but also very distasteful (you should never mention heroin in front of your father, just as a general rule.)
  2. My emotional spectrum navigates on a very, very tall roller-coaster. No “gentle hill-side” of any sort.
  3. I – more than once – lashed out at a potential partner for unknown reasons (to them. I know why. Tsk.)
  4. Watch me having brunch at the Breakfast Club. Just watch me. Seriously. It’s awful.

But it turns out that, no matter who you are, if you find the right path for yourself you may just manage to utilise, in business, all those qualities that in theory would also make your life better (but I like to make everybody nervous by being an extremely focussed writer-producer and a total mess of a human being).

So, measure (in business).

Measure is great. Measure will help you realise when you are going off-track or if you are being a total shit to yourself and your – potential – employees / associates by deciding that you will measure success by earning one million pounds in net profit by selling recycled q-tips.

See? Hyperbole. Right there.

I have decided, for Lettuce Dream, to measure success by producing 4 plays. That’s a number, numbers are great to measure things. Now, if this measure were to stand alone, it would arguably be a bit vague. That’s why we like the whole acronym and that is also why it is so difficult to take each letter on its own. Because if I had not time-bound these plays to be produced within four years, with a rhythm of one play per year, I could still be blogging about this at 73 years of age, still dwelling on the choice of my second play. And we don’t want that.

Another measure that I am employing, for each and every one of these plays – and for the whole project – is not to go over-budget. And this has made me realise a very reasonable mistake I have made at the beginning, to be soon rectified.

I have divided my initial capital into four equal shares, each to produce each play. I am sure you can see the fault there. Also, I have decided, for my first year, to produce a four-hander which includes puppetry, perishable items such as food and alcohol, and fire. Again, the mistake is easy to spot.

As long as you notice things, you will be fine. I will still be giving everything I have to this play and to the objective of not going over-budget. If I should, say, fail, then obviously next year I will be working on a smaller scale. A monologue, perhaps, or a two-hander (actually, I will do that either way, as it is evident that, even when summed to the potential earnings of this show, the money won’t be enough.)


Because beyond being smart you have got to accept that we all start somewhere and we are going to f stuff up. To not repeat mistakes, just make a note of everything. And, the best way to avoid really bad mistakes that will, effectively, compromise it all, is to identify your objectives and make them smart so that your focus will always be in one place and, chances are, you’ll be fine. Measure success on the times you get up after falling. In the end, we are not in the business of saving lives.

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